Not trying to change the world

Today I delivered our Operation Christmas Child boxes.  These 4 boxes will not change the world, I know that, however I pray that they bring some joy to 4 children.  As you may or may not know 2 of my children are from Uganda.  While we were waiting for them to join us here in America, we were on occasion given the opportunity to send small packages to them.  I remember worrying and hoping that I picked out the "right" things for their packages.  Trying to show you care in a small package through notes and items packed.  This time I let my two adopted children help pick out items that they thought would bring not only joy but supply basic needed items.  Seeing it through their eyes put a whole different perspective to it.  We picked out colorful socks, my daughter said "they probably can't wear them with their school uniform, we need to pick something else out".  I began to pick items more carefully and I tried to squeeze an equal amount of needed items and toys and school supplies.  I also know the joy those packages being when you deliver them.  Children are amazed that someone took the time to pack this package for them.  The financial cost to my family was minimal but it brought joy to my kids to feel like they were paying back for being picked to live in America.  They have guilt for leaving people behind in their country so I hope and pray not only for the children receiving these boxes but for the children who packed them with such thought and love.

Who you are

I have spent the last few months explaining to my youngest daughter (if you don't know, she is from Uganda) that she is beautiful.  Because of her background and where she grew up she feels like not having hair makes her ugly.  She is in 5th grade and plays football for our school (she is an amazing running back and a beast on defense! True story, not just because I am her momma,). Because of football we didn't get braids or weave before school began, too much taking the helmet on and off and too much sweating aren't good for braids.  She like most females feels her worth is tied up in her hair-real hair or fake hair.  She lives with her Caucasian momma and 2 Caucasian sisters who all have long hair, she talks about having long hair all the time and how she wishes she had long hair, she longs for long hair.  As soon as football is over she is getting braids, but I am trying to make her realize that she is beautiful with or without hair.   We live in a world obsessed with looks so I know where she gets the desire to have something she feels will make her more beautiful.  If I teach nothing else to my girls (all 3) I want them to know they are more than the hair on their heads, the makeup on their faces, or the clothes and shoes that they wear.  We are all beautiful because we were formed in God's image,  he made us pleasing to His eye.  No one else matters.  My girls have beautiful souls, that is who they are, who all of us are, not our exterior but our interior.

Now I feel the need to explain that my Princess came from a country where for hygiene sake and because of nutrition it is easier to keep young children's heads shaved.  She wants to feel accepted as an American, I want her to remain as Ugandan as she can, we try for a happy medium.  In her mind she needs to be beautiful to be american, I think.

I am just as guilty as everyone else worrying about what I am wearing and what my hair looks like but at the end of the day when I am in my pajamas and my hair up on top of my head without all that makes me beautiful to the outside world, I am beautiful because of who I am.

A Mother's Love

There is nothing like a mother's love.  I don't think I understood how a mother's love is different from anything else till I became a mother.  A mother's love is a mother's love.  I remember when my girls where babies being terrified that something would happen to them and all I wanted to do was keep them safe.  There have been bumps, bruises and broken bones along the way and it broke my heart every time.  I remember Courtney fell out of a grocery cart when she was 18 months old, she hit her head pretty hard, to this day I hear that horrible thud, not in my head, but in my heart every time I think about it.  My momma called to check on me today because my house alarm went off for no reason today just to make sure I was ok-folks, I am 42 years old but still her baby.  She had to make sure I was o.k. I have learned to be patient when she calls, she isn't trying to run my life, she just needs to make sure I am o.k.  Even when she had cancer her concern was for me, she went through very expensive genetic testing to make sure she wasn't passing on a cancer gene to me.  Nothing like watching your very ill momma worry about you.

I remember when I heard the news of an 18 year old Natalee Holloway who disappeared on her senior trip.  She has never been found.  I realized then that I can't protect my children forever. They will grow up, but will it stop me from trying to protect them and keep them safe?  Absolutely not! I will worry about them till I stop breathing simply because that is my job.  So daughters and sons, just because you don't live under your momma's roof doesn't mean we won't feel the need to take care of you.  A mother's love is like no other.

Little is much

This blog was born from spending time with some high school girls on a mission trip.  Every night they would come to my room and we would talk about life.  I never wanted them to think I was preaching at them and apparently they didn't because they kept coming back every night.  I am first and foremost a Christian Wife and mother.  I have a set of biological twins and I have a set of adopted twins from Africa.  I have been a homeschool mom before deciding that my dyslexic daughter needed more than I could be for her, so we decided to enroll them in school.  Eventually I started working at the school.  I love my job.  Sometimes I find my house isn't as clean as it should be or the laundry is stacking up and I didn't sign the little kids' agenda for school. I feel like I am not getting it right.  I am learning that I am not perfect (who knew!?!)  I need to quit trying to be all things to all people.  

I am learning it is better to do a few things well, than to do many things badly.